This happens to people all the time, you want your cake and eat it too. You want sex but you are not willing to give up your hell to have it honestly. and you want it from an injured person such as yourself. You just want to feel sorry for one another.
It will not work. You are creating ---by your own means ---more damage to yourself
and your wife will know spiritually, somehow, that something is not right.. You are one spirit with your wife and she will know spiritually anyway, maybe not physically, but she will know. She will feel it and it will drive her even more crazy. She will have dreams etc. and fight with you more.
The problem with your wife is that she is too well taken care of , all of her financial needs are met and you have done this I suppose because you are so good.
I know many, including myself in the past, I didn't have time for all this feel sorry for me "b.s.", I had to work and provide.
She is a spoiled bratt. You feed into her and everyone should rotate around her and what she feels. I say heck no, quit doing this.
You want your kids to not be hurt by a divorce, but what you are doing and in the future what you want to do more with your new person---sexually speaking, will hurt them and it will rupture your spirit too and hers. You are creating more problems because you wont leave because you are afraid of hurting the children but in the long run you will hurt them anyway.
Watching two parents hate one another teaches them to hate and this is a terrible lesson and they will grow up hating you so what have you gained. Yes they will turn to hate you as reasoning adults.
You, if you stay with her, need to find out really what is biting her. Was she ever on drugs, I just think she does not want to face reality. Why doesnt she work. Why doesnt she have some outside involvment, this is ridiculous.!!!
She blames you for everything.
Have her do a parasite cleanse and eat from God's basket, only alive foods.
If she will not cleanse her body and want to---I say want to---get better through education and nutrition you should leave
TO SAVE ALL OF YOU.
She is a bratt that lives in a fantasy world and don't buy her reasons why she abuses you and in front of your kids too. When they grow up they will do the same thing, then here you go with another generation.
But........don't make a big mistake of playing with someone. You need to face the facts.
Deal with your own garbage before you take on extra or create more garbage. It will come back to haunt you in a way you never expected it too.