I just posted a long drawn-out message, now I read your responses to Mr. Confused. How scary! You are so right! I was him seven years ago and I'm not one heck of a lot better off since divorcing. She still tries to run the show, and in all fairness, I was a bit of a poophead myself (I had a lot of guilt that held me back from having nay faith in myself). I still struggle, but I do defend my children and that is good. I do need to stand up to her though, and I am still scared. I also have to stand up to myself. Thanks for you inadvertant advice!