Yes I can totally relate,,,,you're not alone.
I just keep in mind that nothing bad is gonna happen to me,
all the fears and a screwed up scenarios i come up with are completely irrational. They will not happen.
To hell with what everyone else thinks, they cannot understand , unless they have been through it,. anyone who really loves you will try to help. worry about how you feel & think about improving yourself. I gave up trying to hide it also.
I just tell people also,,," Look i get panic attacks sometimes,its not my fault, please bear with me.....that always lightens my load. I dont care if they think im crazy, because i know im a good person.
Brick by Brick,,,if you feel good for 5 minutes one day,shoot for 6 minutes tomorrow, soon it will be hours,,then days.
You will have set backs, Take them as the come and dont let them keep u down,,,,you'll eventually come back stronger.
Existing right now is alot of work, but in a while it wont be, it;ll be easier and fun.
Thats just my opinion, its working for me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,that & watching alot of comedy central