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Re: Scared all the time
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Published: 17 years ago
This is a reply to # 272,524

Re: Scared all the time

God, can I relate!!!! Mornings are horrible for me. I wake up in a tight ball under the covers, my feet keep moving, my stomach in knots, absolutely scared to death. I pop 3 Ativan (NOT GOOD, as only 1 used to work)and shake, and then I pray all morning to God to please take this from me, please, because I have suffered so long. I think I'm not doing something right. I believe these all stem from things in the past and completely irrational fears, but how on earth do you rid yourself of them?
You are not lazy, dull or rude. You are anxiety- and panic-ridden. To hell with what others think. They don't know if they haven't been through it. People tell me to just snap out of it. Gee, it feels so good going through this. Why would I want to stop? (Note the sarcasm.) I am going through talk therapy, psych drugs. I don't know what else to do. I read my Bible, pray, starting to meditate. The meditation works IF YOU STICK WITH IT. THAT IS THE KEY. It is hard to stick with, but it must be done. On the suicide forum I posted as well, and someone posted back with the Dark Night of the Soul. Maybe that's what it is. I can't help thinking this is some sort of spiritual crisis that has come to a head. It took me 43 years to get this way, with a few catastrophic life events in the last 11 years making it worse, and now I have been suffering like this for the past 7 years. It has to stop sometime because a person just cannot go on like this forever. It is just too horrible to live this way.

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