I am someone who is constantly pulling my hair out trying to figure out if all my problems really are "in my head," if my page long list of lifelong candida symptoms are all just psychosomatic, as the doctors would say. Just Depression manifesting itself physically in ways they dont understand. Of course, they leave out the "ways we dont understand" part...
I took a candida antibody test (IgG), and I came back in the normal range. It was absolutely gut-wrenching to get the results. All this time I thought I had something that I could actually fight. I wanted the results to give me some peace of mind, or some degree of certainty that this all isnt just %¤#&!§-. I have passed and vomited a good bit of what people on this board call "threads," or candida rhizomes. Does anyone find it interesting that I passed these white thread things, (a few with a dab of blood on the end), and yet the antibody test tells me candida is not present?????
I feel relatively better lately, over the past few weeks. I am working all day, and trying to get up money to move out on my own (im 21, dropped out of college for this stuff), to get away from my family, which is toxic as HELL. I know I will get down to the depths soon again, probably in the winter. This time I guess I wont have some scam to put all my idiotic hope in. I was really convinced there for a while, too. I thought food totally controlled the way I felt. Now Ive eaten like a S.A.D. pig for a few weeks, and actually feel better than when I was bouncing hard on and off the diet.
And I totally relate to what you said about the toxic people...THEY DONT EVEN HAVE TO FACE THEIR OWN FEARS/INSECURITIES!!! Is Depression some kind of honesty about life? Why cant I be fake, shallow and HAPPY??