Its good to hear from you again. I know exactly what you mean! I have learnt a lot about myself recently, I have actually been b/v free for MONTHS at a time, something always happens and I give in that once, which then becomes twice, etc. I have to give myself a stern talking to, and pull myself back inline. It gets very depressing. I need to value myself more, not rush around waiting on everyone. I think sometimes we forget where we've been when things are more normal, and so its very easy to slip back a few paces. I try not to think of it as 'back to square one' when I slip. I used to, and it doesn't help one bit. All the things learnt about yourself, the e.d., other ways to cope, etc, are all still there, but you do need to drag them to the front of your head occassionally! I have started to do EFT recently, and that helps a lot. I HAVE to get this thing sorted., I need to be healthy for my kids. It plays havoc with the IBD and the anaemia. I get so that I'm a walking wreck, and that's just not me.