If you're not having an outbreak, waxing should be fine. It hurts even if you don't have herpes ;-)
If you're having constant outbreaks, or if waxing seems to trigger an outbreak... you could try depilatories but a) i've never had much luck w/ those, and b) the chemicals could irritate you even more.
Laser is an option, but it's expensive, and requires multiple treatments.
If you just want to keep the hair from sticking out of your bathing suit, etc., and have it look nice and groomed--why don't you try one of those electric razors they sell for men for trimming their beards/sideburns? I used to use one of those, and you just have to shave every few days. It's not as smooth/hair free as waxing, but it's a lot easier than actual shaving, and it doesn't irritate the area b/c you're not dragging a razor across the skin. They cost like $20 at someplace like Target and they usually come with a bunch of attachments.