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Re: User syndrome
 
mountainluvr Views: 1,079
Published: 17 years ago
 
This is a reply to # 377,807

Re: User syndrome


I was an opiate/heroin addict for years; and have been clean since august of 2003. I have noticed the same thing in people; and have created a name for it..."the non-using user", or the "the non-using addict"...basically this is a term I use to refer to someone that has stopped using drugs but still lives the addict life-style. When I got clean I realized that it was not only the drug that I had become addicted to but it was also the way of life that I was addicted to (or maybe not "addicted" to the life-style, but so accustomed to it that I didn't know how else to live and behave). When addicted to such powerful drugs you lose sight of who you are; you are forced into lying all the time, and you honestly don't know the truth anymore...you only know how to say whatever you need to say to achieve what you want to achieve. I don't know how long your friend has been 'clean'; and don't know any of the particular details...all I know is how I was and how I have observed similar behavior in others...so take what I say and use what is relevant to your situation and interpret it to your own life and what you are experiencing with your friend. It took me about 4 months before I started to really change my life style completely...I don't know if that is the magic number, but that was long enough for me to get the drugs out of me, for me to become accepting of the fact that I was not going to be doing drugs anymore, and for me to realize that I had to change more than just not using drugs. I actually went threw a "mourning" period...I had to mourn the loss of my old life. Honestly, it took tough love...I remember someone actually getting down in my face and yelling "WAKE-UP...I'M NOT DEALING WITH YOUR BS ANYMORE...EITHER KNOCK IT OFF; OR GO AWAY!" It sounds like your friend is making up lies that benefit him by getting him sympathy and attention; and it is possible that he doesn't know how else he can get those things without lying. You need to show him that you will not reward him with giving him what he wants if he lies; but that you will reward him with love and compassion only when he is truthful. You need to put all the cards on the table and confront him...by not being up front with the fact that you will not put up with it, you are doing him a dis-service and actually perpetuating the problem. I wish you luck!
 

 
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