Caring and loving others is never wasted, doesn't matter what they have done to themselves and others. There seems to be a soul connection betwen the two of you that has existed for a long time, the same soul family. Your individual soul paths have not permitted, though, for the two of you to share your physical lives at this time. He has much to grow within himself before a relationship would be useful for both of you, otherwise, it could be very bumpy. How and when this changes is pretty unpredictable, although the probability exists. It is up to the both of you. I wouldn't close doors that don't need to be closed. Keep an open heart. It is big enough to accomodate the entire world.