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So much to learn.....thank you; reflections, insights welcome
 
pjangel Views: 1,831
Published: 15 years ago
 
This is a reply to # 496,780

So much to learn.....thank you; reflections, insights welcome


"When one complains about not having enough, the universe whill receive the message and fulfil it. You are what you think. You think poverty, poverty will be your reality."

So, I should be more grateful for what I have, right?

" You think about what else you could do for others, others will think of you what they can do for you. The more you give the more you get."

I give when I can, be often it isn't monetary. I hope that counts. And I hate feeling 'stingy', but

"Counting the pennies and thinking that it will always be that way, and nothing works for me, will become that self-fulfilling prophecy you try to avoid."

Okay, so is it okay to be careful with money? Until things loosen up? Is it a waste of my time and effort; all the saving and 'finding' I do? Often I am 'gifted' at finding the things I need. But there has to be a line. I've missed events or been late because I couldn't bring myself to spend $2 more than what I thought something was worth (like food when I was out of the house, needed to eat, but everything 'healthy' seemed 'expensive'....so obviously I have 'issues". Last time it happened, I ended up buying something 'unhealth' that was cheap. I'm doing 'better' at this, but it is still an issue. All the money problems aren't just mine--I haven't seen myself as deserving for so many years, it is hard to change without feeling selfish. And I think it is okay to be a 'wise steward', I just know I cross the line to foolish too often. (My pennies are scared of me, I pinch them so....smile) But the pain in my lower back....that isn't as humorous.

"Fighting something is a waste of time and energy. Focusing on your husband's negative outlook only makes your's negative too. He is playing the victim, as if someone else was responsible for keeping him from being successful. "

And I am playing the victim too. I don't earn any money--I homeschool. But I have an icredible gift for stretching money.....I need to be grateful for that, and I need to accept the abundance without feeling guilty that the universe gives me.

"He is closing his door to the abundance waiting at his doorstep, because he basically shout out with dispair that he doesn't deserve to be wealthy. His low self worth speaks these words "We'll never make it", which is nothing but "We don't deserve to make it".

I realize this. He is so sensitive when I'm excited because I 'found' something, he hears "I am a failure. She had to find a good deal". Silly man. If he could change his attitude.....but I know I CAN CHANGE MINE (not that it will be easy)

You don't need to folow his footsteps. Forget about what he thinks and believes in this respect. You can make a difference for your family, despite him."

We have agreed to see a marriage counselor, and of course, the three issues are :communication, money, and sex. That is tomorrow. Hopefully all these insights will help me stand my ground, speak my truth, and heal the wounds of our family (but get this, 'charity' is paying for this visit, and that is an issue in itself. If my husband insists he can afford to pay (because of pride) and yet he tells me that what I need we can't afford....it won't be pretty. I know, I should hold a positive picture, but trice burned.....pray for me.
peace and joy perhaps, abundance to follow...

I know that "there is not battle. It is already won". that 'came to me'. but I struggle so to understand.

(hey, I feel 'greedy' because I ask two questions, and that's when I stumble on the forum being open.So I post with my name and then my number. I don't want anyone to feel like I'm being 'greedy'. And I'm sure they might, and I'm nervous that perhaps I am. Truth is, I'm needy right now, but needy and greedy rhyme....sigh. Yet I'm sure the questions I ask help others....so WHY am I so insecure?

pj
 

 
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