I don't think it would be wise for me to tell you what you should do with your life. One of the challenges you must face is deciding for yourself what to do. A part of your issue is waiting for something to happen that could take you out of that limbo. You would not benefit in any way if someone else would determine your life's path. It is all your's to decide. Search for your passion, what excites you and hold that vision in your heart. Take the courage to take a first step in that direction, and even if you are afraid of falling, you will find that it is the most important one. Flying is an important part of your life. Your near death experience was necessary because in your last life, you were shot down in an airplane and suffered great trauma. This time, you got sick before you stopped flying because that trauma came back into your subconscious memory at that time and you tried avoiding a repeat situation (not that it would have happened)through the sickness. If you resonate with Sacred Santemony (see my website), we could work with this.