I had such awesome dreams last night. I awoke about 2:30 and could not get back to sleep. When I finally did around 4:30 I went into lucid mode. This usually happens when I wake up and stay awake for a while. Anyway, I was surrounded by people, old friends, forgotten friends and most of all, my daughter, Sophia. She was a toddler in my dream. She is now 31. I was holding her hand and hugging her and telling her I loved her (something I did not do much when she was that age, which I painfully regret). I started wondering when I realized that she was grown, why she had come to me as a baby. Then it struck me that she had come back so I could express my love for her at that age, because I regret not doing it enough back then. I was too wrapped up in my personal life to be as good of a mother as I wished I would have been.
Then I started noticing all the others around me. They were all trying to communicate with me. I was trying to understand what they were telling me. I would wake up and go right back to sleep and start looking for them, calling to them. I found my best friend from high school and gave her a hug and told her I loved her. I kept looking and calling for little Sophie.. She finally came back and I was so happy to see her I grabbed her and gave her a huge hug and told her how much I loved her.
It was such a real experience. Sophia was who she was as a baby, not who she is now. It made me think about how there is no past or future. We are in the present as we were then and we are living all the moments simultaneously. I’ve heard people talk about this concept, but I think I have a much better understanding of it now. Awesome!
Also I realize it’s never too late to express love. Love, giving love and receiving love is so healing. Driving in to work today, I remembered my dreams. My eyes got full of liquid love as they are doing right now.