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Collecting the stones.....Here is my plan!
 
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Published: 17 years ago
 
This is a reply to # 517,620

Collecting the stones.....Here is my plan!


While I am still doing the Bowel Cleanse and will start the parasite one as soon as the goods arrive in the mail, I share your trepidation for going 'potty fishing' as I see it's called.

Some say they use latex or rubber gloves. Others say they use a collander of sorts to obtain the 'merchandise' from the commode.

Here's my solution, which I have yet to test, but I'm developing a prototype plan right now...here's how it will work:

Contact my local nuclear power plant or FEMA office to obtain a regulation 'radioactivity suit' much like what was used when people had to go into Three Mile Island or Chernobyl after the meltdowns. I plan on purchasing several stand-by suits, as well, to have as backups in case one leaks or I'm not confident in the protective power of one of the other ones for some reason. It's always good to have backups...

Once I have at least a dozen of these suits, I'll do the liver cleanse. I will follow the instructions to the T to make sure that only stones come out (meaning, no poo).

If the stories are true that only the 'floaters' are what you are after, I will examine the commode visually once I feel I have
'finished' ... Upon visual inspection, done by my Meade 12 inch telescope with the 13mm lense and a complicated set of mirrors from as far away as possible and I have visual confirmation that there are indeed stones in the toilet...I will do one of three things (to be determined at the time of the cleanse):

1. Flush the commode immediately in a terror-stricken panic. (Of course, with the remote control unit I will have manufactured strictly for this purpose).

2. Utilize the Mr. Gadget Toilet Fishing apparatus that I have been building in the garage. It consists of a series of metal arms that have a catch can with a filter/sieve on the bottom..and the whole device is manipulated when I am in a 'bubble' like that kid in the movie "Boy in the Bubble." This is done to protect myself, obviously.

3. Call 911 to have the Hazardous Materials and/or Fire/Rescue come out and remove the contents of the toilet.

That is the only part of the plan that I haven't worked out yet. I'm leaning towards #1 since it's a natural instinct to flush the toilet when finished...and not to go poking around in there for ANYTHING. Because, for me, I don't/won't care if they are calciium, cholesterol, bile, marbles, spitballs or Crayons from the 3rd grade or anything else really...because whatever the hell it is, it will need to go away. And go away with great velocity. That's what we have this marvelous system that connects us all...modern plumbing.

Still others, I'm sure, will persist in the sojourns into the toilet, I will not be one of them. Because I am a firm believer that whatever lands in the toilet, stays in the toilet. That includes hairbruses, 1,000 dollar bills, wedding rings.

Doesn't matter.

Just my little plan...it's obviously a work in progress.

:-)
 

 
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