It's really much simpler than that. You become friends, lovers and then have sex. If you change around this order, a permanent relationship of love, honor, trust and respect might be much harder to find.
If you keep running into pigs, your probably hunting on the wrong farm or using the wrong bait.. there are plenty of good guys out there....meeting them is the tough part.
If a guy can't love and respect you...you simply got the wrong guy. But, get to know him real well first before you get intimate.