I think your thoughts are certainly reasonable. I suspect that there is not a "correct" answer. Your thoughts are rational, logical, and make sense.
There are a couple of points that I don't think your thoughts have addressed directly, which is probably as you intended and which is okay. This is a generalization but I think there is some probablistic merit to the generalization. My observation is that in general many/most men do not know how to pleasure a woman and many/most women do not know how to communicate effectively how they want to be pleasured. I think that many men think that women respond sexually in a very similar fashion to themselves and that is not the case in many/most circumstances. I think one reason why many/most women don't know how to communicate what they want/need is because they are not experienced through self exploration in what works for them. Often male/female sexual relationships end up less than successful and blissful because the blind are leading the blind. In the end, I think that in many cases things eventually work out if the partners are able and willing to patiently work through things. I also think there are many frustrated and upset people because they are unable to find themselves through the sexual mysteries with the blind leading the blind. I don't think we do a very good job teaching our kids the sexual skills that may be helpful for them to be more successful in this important aspect of their lives. Perhaps that is how it should be. Perhaps we should teach them more. There seems to be an intuitive element to me that we should teach them more than we do, but I just don't know.
Certainly your suggestions are much more open and accepting than those of one or two generations ago, but do they go far enough? Perhaps, perhaps not.