I understand your concerns and "performance" anxiety-especially as it relates to one you really care about (your long distance friend) but I really do think that when the time is right, nature will take over and you will be fine. The only things you really need to know is how the female body works-especially the clitoris. (lots of posts about this) Your own body will do fine and you will figure out the proper thrusting and such that you are concerned about. Believe me, your body will take over!! I would follow another posters advice, though, and be honest with her without seeming weak. In some ways it is very sexy and wonderful to be someone's first. Quite a turn on actually, to help someone have a great first experience. I think it could MAJOR sexy to take a lot of time and figure her body out via oral stimulation, gentle fingering ect. This will put you at ease when it comes to the next step. (hopefully she will be interested in oral on you, too) Oh, and even if pregancy or disease isn't an issue, a condom is advisable to use when you don't want to be 'over stimulated' the first few times and go off too fast. Oh,yea...that may be another area you could practice before you two get together-that is the art of getting so close to exploding without going off too soon. There are many posts with specifics about that stuff too. I would rather see you do things like that than get involved with escorts or sex serogates ect. Seems you waited this long, why spoil it with someone you don't really care about?
Best of luck to you...and have FUN! :) :)