First of all I will suggest u to hold u r nerves down, and advice u to go for a sexologist. Treatments and suggestions by the doctor will be the best for u r issue.
But as i guess u r suffering from the Erectile Dysfunction which is a common problem now a days ....and one more thing u have some wrong myths about sex. There are very good sites which provides complete information on Men's health and various other issues related to it !
About u r other issues regarding oral sex , self-gratification i will suggest u to go for a good sexologist..he will be the best who will clear all u r doubts.