Hello everyone I am a new mother. I have a 5 month old son who I adore. I did not have the birth that I anticipated and I still cry about it. My water broke and I was in extreme pain that I had never felt before in my life. I had no idea labor was this bad. I stayed at home for a while but my contractions were 2 to 5 mins apart very soon. My mother and Aunt took me to the hopsital where my husband later met us. I dilated to 5 cm and then they put a heart rate monitor on his head to get a better reading of the heart rate. When they did that his heart rate dropped and he started to go into distress. They all started freaking out and said I had to have an emergency C section. I also had a nurse midwife becuase I wanted to avoid a C section, but I think she kinda jumped on the idea rather quickly which was strange to me. Perhaps her instincts were right though, she has 20+ years of experience. I wanted a vaginal birth and the whole birth experience but I also wanted to be sure that my baby was okay. When they took him out the cord was wrapped around his next tightly twice. Everyone tells me the C-section was nesessary, but I still couldn't help but be depressed about it. I only saw him very quickly and then they wheeled me off to a room where I was pretty much alone for an hour. I creid because I wanted to be with my baby and my family. I wanted that instant bond after birth. His apgar score was a 9.9 depsite having the cord around his neck and my husband was able to be with him right after the birth. Well when the pain meds wore off I felt as though a chain saw had ripped into my stomach. I felt very ashamed and like I had failed. I wanted to be with my baby at that moment and the nurses seemd to take their time like they didn't really care. Well I was not healing very fast so I was stuck in the hospital for a week. My milk took 5 days to come in and that was very depresseing because some of the nurses were saying that I should just put him on a bottle and discourageing me. I just kept having him nurse and using the pump and finally my milk came in thank goodness. I was soo afraid that I would have to feed him formula and I wanted the nurseing bond which I am soo glad i was able to make it work because on top of the tramatic birth if I would of been un able to nurse I really think I would of slipped into post partum depression. I did feel sad for a couple weeks but it has worn off. I am still nursing my son and now I understand the bond women speak of from the nursing relationship. It is also the BEST thing for him. He is soo healthy.
When I went in for my 6 week check up my midwife had a talk with and told me that doctors are not doing VBACs anymore and now that I had a C-section I would always have to have one. I broke down right there and creid. I really don't want to go through that again. For me the pain after the C-section was worse than the labor contractions. The feeling of shame was soo overwhelming. I want to have more children at least 2 more and to have to go through the same thing again. It was very tramatic for me. My midwife was speaking of uterine rupture and how doctors are afraid of this complication. Well since then I have been doing my reasearch. I come to find out that the chance of this happening is less than 1%. It is soo rare, and there is more of a chance of having complications from the surgery itself. Well if everything is okay with my second baby I really want to try to have a VBAC. I am in the Gilbert, AZ area. Please give me some advice on what to do?? Does anyone know of a doctor out here that does VBAC's. Any help or advice would be sooo wonderful.