I have been a Christian for about 7 years. Since the last 3 years, whenever my husband and I have problems, I have thoughts of killing myself. My husband has had problems with staying on track with God, mostly because of legalistic issues in the church we used to go to. It was all about "works" instead of loving God from a pure heart. Well, he started to delve into a lot of p 0 r n, and masterbation, and it has damaged my trust in him. He has stayed away from it for about 8 months now, so he says. But,I still feel very paranoid and worry that he doesn't really want only me. He has gone out to lunch with clients from work, 2 women went with him last time. They showed up at his office again and offered to take him out again(this is a week later). My husband is very attractive and he says that I am too, he can hardly keep his hands off me. He is 25 and I'm 31. I was married before and divorced, my ex got into speed and left me. Am I just crazy for feeling this way? I love God, I pray, and try to grow spiritually, so I can't understand why all this hopelessness creeps in when we have problems, especially when the problems have to do with trust issues. I just feel like dying, so that I won't have to live with this paranoid feeling. Most times, I'm a very happy and positive person, which is why I'm so confused about this negativity that creeps in my mind. Maybe satan is just laughing and having a ball with me right now. Please pray for me, that this feeling won't last. I've been feeling this way all day, and I'm tired of it. God bless you all for listening to me!!