Dear 4964. In the advice you have given Anonymous, it is easy to detect a loving and gentle Christian spirit, therefore what I'm about to point out I hope won't be taken as harsh criticsm. However, when you say that if there is anyone to blame, it should be the producers of p 0 r n, etc., you are releasing him of the full personal accountability first to God, and then to his wife and marriage.
The world scene is blasting increasingly greater and greater attacks on our moral fiber. But the temptations are not limited to men in the area of lust. We all face numerous daily temptations, over which because of conscience and love of Christ, we struggle to crucify the flesh. It is always, by our very own actions only, and no one elses, that we must face God. "The devil made me do it" won't cut it here.
Regardlesss of how awful this person's cycles of indiscretions and regrets might feel, it isn't until the person himself decides to genuinely repent and do something about it that any real progress can be made.
That a woman should feel horrible in these circumstances, is to me, perfectly understandable. She feels the whole weight of defilement upon her, and it's no easy thing. She can with the Holy Spirit's help forgive her husband, but forgiveness does not mean licence for repetition of wrong doing.