I can understand where you are coming from and what direction you are heading.
The death of a family member can change how you view life.
Everything looked so perfect before.
When things like this happen you start to see a different side of the person that you thought you could most count on . I am sure that you love him with all of your heart. Sometimes these things happen for a reason, they are put here for us to help us learn about ourselves and about the people that we love.
He is more than likely having a very difficult time himself understanding it and dealing with it in his own way.
He probably had you all to himself and now he has to share you with your family.
I am sure that his family understands what you have to deal with and they should try to help him learn to understand that you need your space at this time.
I doubt that his family thinks any less of you, they probably see you as a very strong individual who knows her own mind.( This is a good thing )
You need to look deep inside yourself to trust your own intuition.
You may find some answers to questions that have been buried very deep.
You definitley need to do what you feel is right for you at this time.
Even though your boyfriend is important, right now your family needs your support.
If he is able to support you in then he will be a good supportive partner in the future, but if he is unable to support you now, then you have caught a little glimpse of how the outcome of other future events will be.
As for the house, hang in there for awhile and eventually the right answer as to what you should do will be brought to you unexpectedly.