I'll bet if I were to draw a Rune or a Tarot card for you, it would say "remain unattached to the outcome." It is when worrying about where we'll end up that we lose the joy of the now, and when we get caught up in the fear of what might happen, inevitably bring about exactly what we're afraid of just so we can get closure and stop worrying.
I'm all for older woman/younger man. We live longer than men and stay healthier longer, plus we peak sexually in our thirties while they peak in their teens! And who cares what your friends think?!? Geez! At least if it doesn't work out you can always say it was because of the age differnce, and not because you were stupid LOL! ;)
You've really got to change your mindset. YOU are making yourself crazy, it's all in your power to change it because it's YOUR creation. Think of the definition of the relationship, its purpose, direction, and intent. Write it down, even. Once you decide, make sure he agrees, compromise where you will, and stay true to your contract. Leave it somewhere where you can see it and affirm it daily. Then get around to enjoying the ride!
The rest of it - the gremlins that are causing your paranoia etc., aren't real except that you make them real by giving them your energy. Write down all your fears on a piece of paper and then burn them.