The advice from this former disaster waiting to happen, if find your patern. Is it bad relationship, followed by good only to destroy it then to return to the familiar train wreck. or do you have a constant string of bad... LOOk everyone follows a pattern and until you recognize it you are bound to do it over again. I couldn't hold a relationship longer than a year. Six to nine was the average stay. I too did insane things, phone call, following to spie, no trust anywhere..... I am now in a ten tear relationship. I was an absolute nightmare the first three years. I wouldn't let him breathe. We stuck it out, compromised, and deal with each other in a respectful manner. It is possible. Let go.... grow.... let him in... be vulnerable. Its not so scarry once you do it. Good luck. A.