Something for those of you, who don't understand my logic to consider.
A person ( man or woman, doesn't matter) walks into a gym. They have noticed that life is starting to get to them, and their body just isn't the way they like it anymore. A little mid-life sagg happening, and sleep isn't as deep or as refreshing as it use to be.
The gym they go to offers Trainers, free of charge. So they ask one of the trainers if they could help them out. The trainer doesn't know this person, but has a basic understanding of physical health, based on personal experience. The person explains their goals and desires. The trainer works out with the person a couple weeks, and then sets up a routine for them to follow on their own. The routine calls for a mixed workout week. A little cardio on somedays, and weight training on others.
At first the person is very excited. Loves to work out, and actually does quite well for a couple weeks. They completely stop doing the things that they use to, and that lead to the problem in the first place. Later, though, the person starts to get those cravings. Chocolate, or beer ( you pick) starts to call to them. They have done so well, that "what the heck, once won't hurt". But this is something that is a result of an addiction. (all addictions are a result of something else, if it were just a "like" for something then it could be controlled easily. Addictions are not so easily controlled)
So this person indulges. First once, then again... a pattern develops, and they start missing work out sessions. They start to feel guilty. They don't want to go back to the gym because they know the trainer will see that they have been missing, and worse that they have been cheating.
So they stop cold turkey, once more... and they start to consider going back... pretty soon they have talked themselves into it, and sure enough they go back to the gym. They go right up to the trainer, annouce that they have been "bad" and ask for help. The trainer can see the desire for a chance in the person's eyes, and so they help. They work out with them a week, come up with a routine, and then turn them loose. Same scenerio, once more... same feelings of joy, followed by hunger for the denied fruit, followed by guilt... followed by return.
At what point does the trainer tell the person to go fly a kite? Keep in mind that they aren't getting paid, and the only reason they have to help this person, is out of the kindness of their heart.
Even better, what if the trainer upon seeing the person repeat the pattern four or five times, meets the person every time with open arms, and coddling? They know the addictive proccess is tough to break, but dern it, lets just be friends... here, let me help you lift that weight, and you know that 4 miles run.... let's just move the marker back to 2 1/2... there, now you can feel good about yourself, and we don't need to worry about your orignal desire to correct the problem. That nasty o'l addiction was just too tough anyways...
Sometimes I do come across like an assh#le. Yep, I know it. No suprise. But I am not the trainer that is going to stand by and let my friend who really does have a desire to change, fall to an addiction. If someone comes to me, the first time, I will listen, and I will help set realistic goals. If that same person faulters, no biggie. Let them get back up, and LET's do it again... but for months on end? NO WAY IN HELL! Help is Help, ENABLING is something completely different. A wall doesn't need you to acknowledge it, try running into it a couple times and see how long you can ignore it?