you have got to let her go. she is telling you she doesn't want to be with you but probably doesn't want to hurt you.
you deserve a woman who will be crazy about you and appreciate the love you have to offer. please don't choose to filter out what you don't want to accept. this will only bring you more hurt down the road. you know this deep inside i am sure.
tell her you'd like the ring back- it is from your family. there is no question she should return it. plus- why does she have it if she didn't totally say yes.
good luck to you. be courageous.