not sure what to tell you but i also symphathise with you. the first paragraph pretty well put me in the same boat. plus the x wife is still in the picture (calls mostly, he does not call her from what he tells me). she seems really needy and the fact that she ripped him off/used him then divorced him really *%#&¤?§* es me off. how can he still be friends with her? i wouldn't. knowing all this all i can do is tell him i want no part of 'their' stuff and she no longer calls him at home. yet i get mad cause i feel like he's weak by not being able to tell her off.
i guess im lucky cause he doesn't go on buisiness trips, but yah, he checks out other girls and women when we are out together and that makes me feel cheap...i am quite attractive from what i've been told, so it makes me wonder why it's not enough...or maybe it's just his insecurities...i'm beginning to think that lately. maybe he thinks that every pretty girl is looking at him...who knows. i'm really beginning to think it is an attention/insecurity thing. he says he's attracted to me and i know other guys are too. yet it's very cheapening when i get more looks from strange hungry eyes then him. they all seem to want what they can't have...and that gets tireing.
i guess all you can do is focus on yourself. don't focus on what he does or does not do. if there are a lot of good things in the relationship that outweigh all this negativity then focus on those, if not then get out! by the way...does he know you feel this way? telling him might be a good start. and i know how humuliating it can be for a woman to admit her (made up/or not) jelousy but hey, at least we have the courage.