Boy, you sound just like my kind of guy! I always thought dating dating was awkward and contrived, but that didn't keep me from havong lots of male frieds. I always developed more serious potential elationships from among good friends. And I think that's the key.
You sound like a rather sincere and genuine person who really needs a good female friend to explore those areas in your personality. The most successful and rewarding relationships are the ones that start off from friendship.
So your real question is, where do I make friends (and girls at that) What are your interests? Any hobbies? History, particular movie genre, hiking, biking, health, music, etc., etc., etc......
Find out first who you are as a person and what YOU are all about, develop those traits and then start seeking from there someone with whom to share your passions.
If all you are seeking is someone to have sex with, with no emotional involvement, then that can be found easy enough after you have had a few drinks at a local bar, but that will get you started in a dead end pattern that will leave you perennially disatidfied and confused.
Develop yourself and share yourself with a friend. Finding someone to share your passions is easier when you know waht those passions are. You'll know where to go to find like minded individuals and it will make for a much easier conversation startr.
Blesssings to you.