You can only control *your* thoughts and actions. By becomming what you want in another you attract that. Dwelling on "what if's" will lead you back into the land of insecurity. Sounds like he doesn't want *that* person. *wink*
Become what you know you want to become and the rest will take care of itself.
You can never know what is going on in another person's mind and it completly throws you off track when you even try to figure it out. Just be the best you you can be and do your best to avoid the traps of drama that weaken you and thus your relationships.