His parents seem like the sweetest, most level headed people. I am not sure if his brother was abused. I really REALLY can't imagine that his parents did anything to him or his brother sexually. It's possible, I know, but for me, who have been around them rather extensively, not probable.
His brother describes himself as bisexual. He is married to a woman who also considers herself bisexual. My feeling is that his brother, feeling these feelings toward the same sex--which are difficult to deal with; I know, my sister is a lesbian--is confusing and terrifying. His brother, who is not particularly attractive and who was very underdeveloped as a 15 y.o., probably "experimented" on his brother. The way my fiance makes it sound...it only happened a few times and never again, so it wasn't a recurrent thing.
My hypothesis was basically that his brother, without any other access to a more appropriate outlet for his feelings used his little brother instead. It was definitely VERY wrong. I can only imagine how powerless and guilty my boyfriend, as a defenseless ten year old, must have felt. Here was his big brother (whom he very much looked up to), putting his (my fiance's) penis into his (the brother's) mouth. Very f***ed up and sick. The more I know about this brother, I am not sure I want him around my fiance or at our wedding and definitely not near my (future) children.
Anyway, I guess the upshot is that we both need therapy. But in the meantime, we're too poor to afford it, so I guess self help books from the used book store will have to suffice.
Any good ones out there?
Oh, and thanks again for responding. That (and this) was a long message.