I wanted to be free with my words and talk as I normally talk. Not try and filter out any negativities or be more positive than I usually am, so that I could get an answer from you that might really help me.
I think I am already in the whole process of doing what I would like, being a natural healer and a film maker. I am learning and experimenting everyday with new techniques for healing and I am doing a lot of research right now on things I would like to make documentries about. It's all part of the experience of doing what I want to do, but I will be able to be more active on it when I'm not taking care of others. I'm already making the steps.
There ain't nothing I don't see happening right now and money is never an issue, because health and happiness are my TOP priorities. If I need something to fulfill my health and happiness needs I find a way to get it. Which also means spending some time selling books on my business.
This is what I want. I see it as my time to relax, educate and heal myself, it's part of my 'preperation' of what I'd like to do. It's part of 'doing' it.
I don't think I could ever see myself as old. I certainly don't now. I plan on living in excellent till I'm 200! LOL! Who knows, as long as I believe I can, why not? My life will end when I'm ready, and I won't be ready for a long time! But I see what you mean, a lot of people feel that time is running out. I'm in the process of preparing for a new stage in my life. The stage where I can travel and be active.
Yes, I am in the driver's seat of my life. I'm extremely independent and always meet my own need's myself.
Most of my troubles come because I'm not sure if I'll have the energy or need less sleep when I'm ready to to travel or take on something like making a film. I feel afraid that I might always be in my 'preperation' stage. Which is why I am doing all I can to heal my body.
I think this is also one of my bad mentalities, that I couldn't travel if I wanted to right now. But could I? Even going to Disneyland(which by the way is only an hours drive from my house)is hard because I have to go so late in the day and I often go feeling sleep deprived. Right now, at this moment, I probably couldn't travel to my heart's content or take on making a film because my body simply isn't ready for it yet.
So I'm building myself up so I will be ready when that time comes. But now at this time, I'm enjoying my relaxation.
But sometimes I forget that it's not that I'm waiting, I'm creating.