I actually liked reading your message. It must feel good to write that. I say stuff like that to myself often over the past 20 years of feeling like crap starting when I was 18. Being sick builds up a lot of hate.
You'll just have to pick a program and stick to it. If it doesn't work, try something else. See a doctor. Whatever it takes. There are no alternatives. Being sick is hard work.
If you got the cash you can pay to have the lyme test or candida test.
Anyway, you have to start somewhere, so get a backbone, and get to it. Curse and swear when it helps, have a binge every now and then, but get to it.