Yes, it makes sense. It all makes good sense.
Except the part about having trouble in school.
You are extremely gifted with words and quite
"thinky" so any so called learning disabilities
may be that "being set aside" you were being kept
from some of the Librarian's influence over your
schooling. That is just a hunch. True zeal for
learning can be, I think, one way to begin looking
You died so you would quit killing, a misdirected
desire to do the "right thing"; and now, you have
something much bigger to do. Learning disabilities?!
If so, then maybe you were made whole when you died
because you can really say things well, even things
which are humanly inexpressible.