I supposed something like that when I saw your posts, I knew what they were about..
Have what you want!
But just keep a balanced approach
I love the idea of weights, watc any herb or anything else that produces estrogen
(weight GAIN and estrogen tends to reside in fat if in excess and it is a cancer risk)
Why don't you get tested for estrogen and see - maybe you are low since you are in the perimenopausal age range- if it is fine I'd stay away from the herbs and estrogen producing herbs.
I think you are wanting to get back in the game and I admire you for that!
You will have many opportunities to work through the self esteem issues
Keep your eyes peeled for old stuff on your journey
Be the observer..