I truly HATE IT, but I have to admit that our cases are too similar for comfort. Starting at "MY checkbook"....said really snarly many, many years ago.
You also recognize "narcissism"....somewhat new to me. I couldn't believe that there was ACTUALLY A NAME for the patterns I had seen over and over for decades. Pathetic.
My ability to effectively support myself was totally destroyed by the first attack. Now........I still continue to suffer insult to injury as he has very effectively built a seemingly airtight case of "I'm not a batterer, SHE'S CRAZY."
My body has all but shut down at times. So I just forgive, forget, and try to continue to dream. (And since my body has gone so haywire from surviving all the abuse........I have been driven to the brink more than once and it is hard to cope sometimes and have, indeed, felt nearly insane at times until I woke up to the fact that *I* acted better on no sleep, a migraine, whatever BETTER THAN HE DID AND HE HAS HIS HEALTH!)
(He has gotten too old and tired to be much of a threat or at least that is what I feel.......but now realize, that I probably have a solid case of PTSS- always- just low-key. As long as he feels HUGELY successful at fooling everybody, he seems to calm down completely. Like you probably know as well, "IMAGE" is everything to this type.)
He has everyone fooled at this point but I don't care or have ceased to. God knows. I know. And at this late juncture, that is all that matters. There will come a day when narcissists CANNOT LIE any more. :O)
Best to you in your struggle to maintain wholeness and clarity of mind!
You are not alone. :O)