Well thank you guys for your words of encouragement. I've not ALWAYS been like this. I think I did this to myself & others as a way to cope with whatever happened. I just reacted & did so very badly. I have forgiven myself and others around me. I have not only been the abuser, I haev been at the other end of it too. I've also tried to stave away the negative people in my life. Almost like misery loves company, the people attracted into my life were just as horrible as I was.
You're so right!!!:
"Positivity keeps you moving forward and in doing so, many people will see that as a threat and attempt to do whatever they are able to make you feel that you cannot become a 'better' person"
As if I offended my old "friends", they have come down hard on me for making any changes. I believe people are scared of any changes, even if they are positive ones. I don' discuss these "life changes" with these people and try not to associate with them much at all. Just weird how people think sometimes.
Youre' right as well with the "Forgiveness" idea. It has been a very powerful motivator in my journey. Almost 10 years ago, I had an x who I treated very badly who had such compassion for me- she forgave me. I think that sparked the ideas of change which followed me all this time. As if her act of forgiveness was a little light in the storm, I think it lead me here. I haven't seen her in years but I'd like to thank her for her inspiration. I doubt it will happen though.
Of course, I'd like to thank you guys again for your words. Some boards on here are kinder than others. I will check that book out too.