Re: I didn't call my mother or buy her gifts. Am I alone?

I called my mom. I didn't have a gift. I have an upcoming trip, so I will buy her something on that trip.

A few years ago, I was going through a certain kind of "class" that helped me realize what I should do to address some of the problems in my close relationships. I called up my mom, admitted my wrongs, and that simple act prompted her to cry and tell me she was sorry for being such a bad mother. It seems like that was a turning point. Things are far from perfect now, but as I have matured AND forgiven/let things go AND gotten healthier, I can deal with what little is left. For the most part, she holds her tongue about the things she used to say. She's still really annoying, but I can deal and am ok with calling her now, since we have conversations about all kinds of stuff and it's not about her picking on my life choices.

Then again, I had what I viewed as an unfixable relationship with my dad. He died. I don't sit around beating myself up for how I should have worked on that relationship while he was alive. It's just too late. I think about him and like to think I "communicate" with him in my head now. But I don't worry about what I should have done.

So...in a nutshell, either follow your heart to make things as good as you have the power to, or just let it go. Actually, no matter what, you just need to let something go. You can't fix everything on your end, but you may have a lot more power than you realize. Tweet