Have you had a chance to look at the unassisted birth site (Laura Shanley's "Born Free" site)? I would spend a lot of time there reading stories, and seeing how you feel in your heart about a solo or unassisted birth. I remember when I was pregnant w/ the twins and still unconvinced about the hospital (and we have a really great hospital with a patient-oriented birthing center, etc., unlike the hospital you describe) my doula friend, who had a home birth with her last, said, "You can always start out at home and the paramedics can deliver the baby if things go wrong!" (i.e., a lot of women stay home and just call 911 rather than go to the hospital so they get professional help but don't have to fight a hospital beaurocracy.)
Your story is complicated in that you have a bitter history around the first birth which affects your feelings towards this next one. And I can see why you have feelings of deep anger toward having been treated so cavalierly and inhumanely. I still don't like the fact that the first glimpse my babies had of this world was the operating room and a lot of faces with surgical masks on! (I was made to deliver in the OR under that assumption that a section would be necessary.)
I'd get involved with a local La Leche League group so you have some like-minded people for support. You can't afford to waste precious mental and spiritual resources dwelling in a place of anger or fear about this upcoming birth -- it should be a time of joy and anticipation! But part of that will have to be coming to a place of trust that no matter what the outcome, you and your baby will be OK. Maybe that involves finding a different doctor, maybe that involves planning on a UAB at home but being OK with ending up at the hospital -- but some place where you know what your ideal is, you know that you may have to give it up if things go badly, but where your ultimate goal is a healthy baby.
If I were you, I'd look through all of the birth stories from the born free site and just see how they sit with you. Some people prefer being in the hospital and having stuff taken care of -- it took me a long time to realize that as I hate hospitals and don't much care for people who work there, either! It's important to remember that the majority of women in this world do not give birth in the hospital (and it's equally important to remember that there are plenty of women these days in this country who choose to schedule C-sections and have healthy children nonetheless!).
All you need to do right now is to eat well, get sleep, drink water, and get to full term. When the time comes, you will have that sense of what to do. Could you labor at home and then go to the hospital to deliver? If VBAC is not an option at the hospital, do you live close enough to the hospital that it would be safe to proceed with a home birth and go to the hospital if you weren't progressing, etc.? My understanding is that home birth usually progresses a lot more quickly -- probably because the body is more relaxed due to the familiar and safer environment.
We get goat milk from a local farmer and I told her when she was delivering all the kids in the spring that if things went wrong if we have another baby, I wouldn't go to the hospital -- I'd just call her! Delivering babies is not brain surgery (paramedics are trained to do it), and a husband and a friend or two could manage quite well.
The thing you need to get clear on is whether you are letting the anger around the first experience cloud your judgment about the second birth. It may be hard, but you have got to turn that over and let it get taken away from you and know that you will be taken care of this time around. Maybe that is about acceptance of this no-VBAC policy -- i.e., "This is stupid, it was their fault to begin with, but that's how it is and I need to work within that parameter." You are just going to have a lot better experience -- and therefore so will your baby, however he gets here! -- if you can feel serene in any of these situations that might arise, rather than fearful or angry.
Will look forward to hearing more about your deicsion!