How about your insights are good . A bit of your delima is in our culture being so uncivilized that some of your experiences are colored w such conflict.
Remember we are learning to know ourselves as free emotionally, and feeling wise radiant. So what you are going thru is partly necessary for your awareness to expand.
Your equating your conventional concepts of failure to your experiences will end not when you conventionally succeed but when you understand that all your suffering is so you will understand whats important.
Now consider that all signage is manifesting qualities that are more or less imature, intermediate or advanced. As Trys said no good or bad sign. Hard sinage would imply a big dividend.
We all know our weakness' and strengths. We are learning how they can be controlled so as to have a good foundation for rediscovering happiness. The question is how fast or slow will that take.
If you havent already you might enjoy Aysherahs (sp) note on Ask Cure Zone on his recent 10 day meditation voyage, where he took the bull by the horns and learned there was no bull.