Hi there! I'm 11 years older than your and have been through some things that are similar to some of the things you have been through. My personal opinion is that we are more apt to find a suitable man when we are focusing more on living our lives to the fullest as is (i.e. alone) rather than on getting hitched. If you engage yourself in life and do productive,creative things that make you happy, your are nor apt to meet your man, or your choice of men. And even if you don't, you'll be happier. If I am not happy alone I am not happy with someone. I don't think you are doing anything wrong except, possibly, worrying about it. My significant other would say that women who have cats are not attractive to men and the more cats the bigger the problem is. But I have known many women with cats and other pets who dated and married happily so I don't think that is it. Just make sure the litter box does not smell. For me, bars are not the way to go in meeting a man. You do have to go out because they don't usually come door to door seeking a wife like the prince with the glass slipper. But for me anytime I went somewhere just to try to meet men it did not work or AI met the wrong guy. What worked better is if I went somewhere I myself really wanted to go, doing something I wanted to do and enjoyed. That is a win, win situation. Only you know what you are interested in. I met one of my winners while seeing an art exhibit in a big city museum. actually I just had to get out of the house the Sunday morning because my roommate needed privacy. I had nowhere to go. Finally decided on the Metropolitan Museum of Art-- were one Mr. Very Right just walked up and started talking to me. I know people who have made matches at their work or place of worship at a wide variety of ages (including middle age and up). The man I am with now I met at a place where I was doing volunteer work. But I was not doing volunteer work to meet men. Men like women who are kind and approachable and who like them. Some men think they like to take the lead in a relationship. Others think they like the woman to take the lead. Truth is they are usually just like us only male and want to be respected, appreciated, and loved just like we do. No of us really knows if we can get along with a certain person until we give it a try. I think you are just having a little dry spell. Maybe you still need a little space to heal from the past even though you do not know it. You sound like a lovely woman. When all of you is ready for a new relationship you will find it or it will find you.