I have been vacillating about if I want a relationship lately. I have gone through a self imposed dating freeze. I kept meeting men that were not available to me, although they said they were. I wanted to know what I WAS DOING to attract that to me.
In October of 2005, after a breakup in July, of another relationship gone wrong (he was (is?)a good guy just not available the way I wanted) I decided that at 42, getting ready to turn 43, it was time to figure out what was happening.
I have learned much about me in this time frame. I have learned why I attracted what I attracted to me. I had been thinking I was ready to date and even gave my number to someone who made me laugh. After talking with him, I realized there were some flags and he most likely would not be 'for real' yet I was still interested in spending time with him. He made me laugh, so I thought he could be 'for fun' :D. LOL He did not call back, due to whatever his reasons were. For a couple weeks, this bothered me. Mainly, because he was the FIRST guy I gave my number to. Well, I realized, he is a good guy and I was not wrong in trusting what I felt. My judgment was not off (which was Huge for me)and I already had flags about it.
With all that said, I wondered how to find a guy. I have gone to several outings, yet there were always women there. Even though, I had (have) a great time, I thought "how am I supposed to meet a man?" and realized by being more open. Also, doing what I am doing...going out to different outings, meeting people and enjoying being with me, as well as my friends. So, I have a great start.
I do see that being more open does entail fear of rejection and I guess that was why I was not. (Remember I got rejected, well felt rejected, after giving number out). Except after reading what Zoe posted, I realize that I have to be open to Not being rejected. Not everyone is right for me and the ones who are, will be with me, if I allow them. OH and I guess I need to be open to Receiving people in my life more.
My friends (more from work, more negative) are not people I choose to hang out with much anymore. I have made new friends (more positive) by going to the outings. LOL The one thing I notice though, in this moment,...was going to put something out there, I decided to cancel, so changing thought...I am working to just release that which no longer serves me. With saying that, I can be open, I can be flirty, and in the meantime, I can be patient.
Wow, I even lost track of this post that I am typing and I do apologize if it is broken up. I did not realize a few things until I typed them.
I will do suggestions that have been posted and let life flow as it should. I am happier in my life, than I have been in a long time and more often than not, I am alone, not lonely.
OH and I do have business cards made up. Just got them for my reflexology business! LOL Would a man think I am offering him a reflexology session, if I gave him that card? :/ Although it does have my home address on it...where I do sessions at. :D I guess it's all good, I do have my house Blessed and Protected!
Ah well, sorry for rambling and thanks for listening :D!