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Re: Child emotional physical and suspecting sexual abuse. Please offer advice. Warning..Long story..
been there done that Views: 1,703
Published: 16 years ago
This is a reply to # 924,745

Re: Child emotional physical and suspecting sexual abuse. Please offer advice. Warning..Long story..

The little girl is not the only angel in the house when you visit.
"She's a an angel sent from heaven."

I'm a 53 yr. old male from a dysfunctional family and have suffered 51 years of suicidal Depression because of it, so I understand why you are so frantic, are emotionally overwhelmed just by knowing that this happens. Take a deep breath and relax for a second before you explode. I don't mean to belittle the situation by saying "dysfunctional family", a dysfunctional family no matter how severe is very serious, but you have to remember to retain your own sanity while dealing with it.

Now, first things first.

I'm not sure about the rules of adoption, but I THINK that if the authorities get involved, there is no chance of it,...the child simply becomes a ward of the state and will go to a foster home.

If you find out for sure that the daughter is being abused and don't tell authorities, you probably become legally unfit to adopt (maybe even considered an accomplice). If you DO tell authorities, the child becomes a ward of the state. Either way, WILL YOU BE ABLE TO PROVE the allegations, will the daughter retain her resolve to substantiate your claim of abuse, will you become an enemy of the parents, and will you become an enemy of the other children because you broke up the family? or will they resent you for the fate of the other children?

At any rate, the children will become wards of the state (as far as I know) when the authorities get involved.

I'm not sure about adoption law.

Right now, financial support for the children is being paid whether the parents want to gripe about it or not. If the parents let you adopt any of the children, the child support payments that you recieve will be about 50% of what they are paying now, the parents will have less stress and less chance of going to jail in the future because of the abuse of 4 children,...meaning they should be glad you are offering to adopt and take at least one child off their hands because that would lessen their financial burden, to say the least. Your friend is hoping that you will somehow circumvent the law of child support (and are willing to whether you have 5 million dollars in the bank or not).

Your friend is in an abusive situation, but she doesn't want to admit it, and doesn't want to even consider the reality of leaving this "man" because 4 children are a big financial burden (she should love to have you adopt).

Would the courts consider you to be financially fit to raise a child with meager child support? Would there be any retaliation in the future (legal or otherwise) from the parents or the other children? Would you have stay in the same state and get restraining orders or orders of protection from the father?

It might not be as easy as you think, there are many legal considerations.

Family situations are much more complicated than just doing whatever you want to do.

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