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Re: Something painful/confession/regret
  Views: 2,394
Published: 17 years ago
This is a reply to # 98,389

Re: Something painful/confession/regret

What good is it to bring a child into the world who does not have a father? Or only one parent? If you gave this topic more thought you would see that you cannot be in all places at all times that your personal needs and those of the child would require.

It may appear simple minded to say you need a mate to fill in for you with the child when you cannot and vise-versa. That's why a child needs 2 parents because it (a child) is extremely demanding but needs to be loved at the same time. These conflicting demands are much easier borne with the help of an adult partner.

You did not mention this as if this option was not available to you. Perhaps because of you great difficulties with your father you did not feel it necessary for the child to have a father who is open to communication. Nice but not necessary. This is completely wrong. A small child will not reflect or return or support your love the way an adult would. Your age at the time was really too young to have a husband. And it is no laughing matter that women your age, desperate for the return of kind, loving words and deeds, will turn to a small baby for this. The baby is completly incapable of returning your kind deeds in full measure. But rather it is dependent on you, as parents, to teach him how to return your love.

The child is better off not having been born than go through something similar to the life you had. Why would you want to put anyone through that?

It must have taken a great amount of logic and determination to find out what you did find out. It is better for you that you did because hidden secrets warp our lives in ways we don't know and leave us unable to correct the problem at its source. You can find this easily in psychology texts and something to show your father as an example of something else you did right. And an example of a principle he surely knew about having learned it on his way to becoming a psychologist.

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