Here comes Mom! by Molly Bloom ..... Relationship Support Forum
Date: 1/18/2008 8:06:24 PM ( 13 years ago ago)
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So you are interested in the intelligent, self assured woman...duh.
Think Bill Clinton. A super intelligent man. Very attracted to big boobed, blond bombshell type women. Who did he marry? The smartest women he could find. Poor Hillary! But you bet that Hillary was a lot sexier between the ears than any of those bombshells could dish out. Think about it. You have sex with some vacuous women and you can't wait for them to leave? Again, I say duh. It's not all about legs and boobs my dear.
So, that brings me to the discussion about p 0 r n o g r a p h y.
I am no prude. I am also not anti- p 0 r n o g r a p h y. And I'm going to tell you a little story.
My first husband was terribly abusive. He was an avid watcher of p 0 r n o g r a p h y. I really didn't trip on him watching it, but as our relationship deteriorated, he started comparing me to those women on the video. I didn't look like them, and certainly I didn't talk like them. I mean, I didn't talk like some strung out, stupid idiot that just was so surprised when the pizza man started to take advantage of her. When I was moving out from this marriage, I found a locked trunk (that my girlfriend pried open) full of p 0 r no magazines. Again, didn't think too much of it.
Later in my life I was at a girlfriends house. Her girlfriend was very entrenched in San Francisco politics. A real powerhouse. At their house I met Linda Lovelace (not her real name). I don't know if you know her, but she was the first p 0 r no star....Deep Throat? She was attending an anti- p 0 r n o g r a p h y meeting at their house. As I told you, I was not anti p 0 r no, but ended up having a very interesting discussion with this woman.
p 0 r no demeans women. It may not be apparent, but it's like a subtext. Like subliminal messaging. And the message was always the same, women are objects. They are meant to be demeaned. They are not too bright. They need to be submissive. There is always the unseen director that makes this or that women perform their duties. Some women look positively stoned, or spaced. It's not real.
This is my thought for you today. p 0 r n is full of rage in so many ways. It's so subtle. The fact that you've been looking at it for so long is very telling. It's not healthy, happy sex, no matter how you cut it. There are no intimate connections that are meaningful. It's the ultimate in superficiality.
So, this is what I want you to think about now. Is p 0 r n causing some sort of rift in your social skills? Are you disassociating from real intimacy because of it?
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