Re: Better off if I didn't exist by #25392 ..... Suicide Confessions Forum
Date: 7/14/2004 6:07:40 PM ( 17 years ago ago)
I also wear my heart on my sleeve, so I know about that part of what you are talking about. It may be tiresome to those around you, but at least you don't keep everything bottled up, which could be worse for your health...
One thing that has helped me over the years is to realize that you need to enjoy the small, ordinary things in life - the things that you spend the most time doing. Even though I am a Christian, I have found a lot of uplifting and helpful phrases and teachings from books on Buddhism and other Eastern religions / schools of thought. Any Barnes & Noble, etc has tons of these books on display... Basically to learn to appreciate all living things, and to stop to take notice of the birds and bugs and trees and the miracles of life happening in your own backyard. All parts of nature need each other to live in balance, just like your family needs you to function. Also, what you need to be truly fulfilled is within YOU, you can create your own happiness - don't expect it to come from someone else or outside of you, or you will be disappointed...
My brother took his own life years ago, and I cannot describe the agony and torture this has brought to my life. I'm sure that he probably felt that we would be better off without him, too. Although I am immensely sorry for him and what he must have gone through, I have to think that if he really could have grasped the horrible truth of what this has done to me, he wouldn't have done it.
I hope that you feel better soon, also I agree with staying away from sugar, I believe that there is a correlation with depression...
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