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Re: anger management issues by #8171 ..... Relationship Support Forum

Date:   3/30/2006 6:17:14 PM ( 16 years ago ago)
Hits:   1,438

Hi ff,

Thanks for responding. One key issue though:

HIS parents aren't alcoholics. MY parents are.

His parents seem like the sweetest, most level headed people. I am not sure if his brother was abused. I really REALLY can't imagine that his parents did anything to him or his brother sexually. It's possible, I know, but for me, who have been around them rather extensively, not probable.

His brother describes himself as bisexual. He is married to a woman who also considers herself bisexual. My feeling is that his brother, feeling these feelings toward the same sex--which are difficult to deal with; I know, my sister is a lesbian--is confusing and terrifying. His brother, who is not particularly attractive and who was very underdeveloped as a 15 y.o., probably "experimented" on his brother. The way my fiance makes it only happened a few times and never again, so it wasn't a recurrent thing.

My hypothesis was basically that his brother, without any other access to a more appropriate outlet for his feelings used his little brother instead. It was definitely VERY wrong. I can only imagine how powerless and guilty my boyfriend, as a defenseless ten year old, must have felt. Here was his big brother (whom he very much looked up to), putting his (my fiance's) penis into his (the brother's) mouth. Very f***ed up and sick. The more I know about this brother, I am not sure I want him around my fiance or at our wedding and definitely not near my (future) children.

Anyway, I guess the upshot is that we both need therapy. But in the meantime, we're too poor to afford it, so I guess self help books from the used book store will have to suffice.

Any good ones out there?

Oh, and thanks again for responding. That (and this) was a long message.


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