Re: My Mistress continued by #38976 ..... Sex & Sexual Health Forum
Date: 5/21/2007 11:21:53 AM ( 15 years ago ago)
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The question is how you are going to live with the pain you will cause your whole family when this comes out.
Unnecessarily. Because if you simply had had the guts to say:
"I'm going through a confusing time, don't know where I'm headed right now. Need a separation."
" Did not agree with your decision, and don't feel the same about the marriage."
or simply: "I don't feel the same anymore. I'm attracted to other people."
Or any other combination thereof - to alert your wife about your state of mind, to open a conversation and make a JOINT decision. As in MARRIAGE or a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP, shall we stay or shall we split.
It is not about your self satisfaction, it is about RESPECT and feeling SECURE and PROTECTED by the person that you TRUSTED to PROTECT YOU, the person your chose to SHARE YOUR SOUL with, the one YOU LEAST expect to BLOW YOUR SPIRIT into little pieces and do it with SOMEONE ELSE outside of your REALM.
And if there is other family, like children: what is the lesson? When you don't get your way, just go out and cheat?
In my opinion, you should tell your wife that you are not happy, and wish to leave.
Leave and wait a couple of months at least to rekindle your relationship with this other person. You will save your wife's self esteem, and will safeguard the (undeserved) respect of her and family and friends.
And you will be doing her a favor in the meantime, beacuse - IMHO - she can find someone who truly loves and respects her.
Sorry if you were looking for "yes" people - this one seems pretty clear.
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