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Re: you are so smart, SS. Glad to know you, n/m OFF TOPIC by #68716 ..... Narcissism/Sociopathy Survivors Forum

Date:   9/10/2007 4:54:11 PM ( 14 years ago ago)
Hits:   1,906

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} For me, Want2, I've always had the hardest time accepting the difference between "What Should Be" and "What Is." We "should" all be kind, loving, caring, honest, forthright, etc....what "is" is abuse, neglect (even, of Self), greed, apathy, etc. Very rarely will "SHOULD" and "IS" meet.

I've noticed that those who have swallowed back their emotions are the most likely to be physically ill and emotionally neurotic and it's a medical fact that people who remain in abusive relationships suffer far more chronic illnesses and non-abuse-related injuries than those who do not live in an abusive relationship. The negativity must manifest itself in some physical way - we either have a primal scream session, or we develop sinusitis. Perhaps, this is why I have Rheumatoid Arthritis ? I can vividly remember when I was still existing with my abuser and wishing (yes, WISHING) that Something Would Happen to me to cause my passing. THAT would show him! I couldn't commit suicide as it was against my spiritual beliefs - odd how it wasn't against those same beliefs to wish myself to death, eh? LOL!!! So, I sent that negative wish out into the Universe and, years later, I find myself trying to cope with this agony. Lesson here: what goes around will come around. Now, I have to make it my personal business to fight this war and win the battles and remain an empathetic human being during the skirmishes.

You've made a concious decision to remove your Self from potentially harmful situations, Want2. Bravo! It might be a drag for the boyfriend who has to drink alone, but he is responsible for his own choices and you've taken responsibility for yours! Wow...not too many women out there would have the backbone to make that choice and you should feel very comfortable with your level of responsibility and accountability. The boyfriend situation will all work itself out - it may be that he'll find AA and look for sobriety, and it may not. Whatever his choices are, you are comfortable knowing that you are not the reason/excuse for his stupid choices.


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