- Television Fast and Self Abuse by ren
18 y
3,474 4 Messages Shown
Blog: Ren's Holistic Fitness and Life Journal
I am convinced that television is poisonous to the female self image. I am disturbed at how television can affect me. Hence I'm going on a television fast. Lately I've been been feeling not too good about myself, even criticising myself and the way I look. I've been stepping on the scale too much too. Maybe it's because the Influencer of the Negative has inserted into my brain that I have a uterine fibroid and now I have a nagging thought that I might have something wrong with me. My husband's mother died from colon cancer and part of me thinks the worst and doesn't even want to discuss my occasional spotting and now the 'thing' hanging out me bumhole. He's paranoid about me dying so I don't want to scare him. He knows about the thing on me bumhole just because I was saying in casual conversation that I didn't workout one week and rolled a patient the wrong way and probably got it that way. Realistically, I might have a fibroid because my mother had them and had to have them removed in an emergency operation. She just thought she was getting fat and the doctors pulled out a huge fibroid that they thought was UTERINE CANCER if you can believe it. Can you imagine the feelings when a doctor tells you that your mom might have uterine cancer that is aggressive and then find out it's a fibroid? Anyway, I do not think it's anything more than a fibroid. At least that's what I'm telling myself and my spirit, Higher Self, agrees with that diagnosis.
I am also tired of beating myself about my ex-internet 'whatever he was'. I don't want to honor him by even calling him a boyfriend. Except that his calling card was an incidence of HPV and so that's where my television fast comes in. I hate those insipid ONE LESS commercials for Gardisil. Do I think it's a good idea? Part of me says YES because men are the carriers. I bought this on myself by hating myself and being desperate for a man to say I love you and think I'm pretty. When I was a virgin, I didn't have to worry about this crap. So every time I see this commercial, it makes me mentally ill over how a man lied and deceived me and gave me a STD. Sometimes I can go long stretches without even thinking about it till now with these commercials. Television will make you imagine that you are sick and I'm proof.
Whenever I begin to feel empowered about myself, negative attacks happen. Why would I bring these problems on myself? Why is it when I'm happy, I can't be happy for long? I'm off to read a book and be happy. No television today.
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ren
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- Inspirations! by YourEnchantedGardener
18 y
1,584
9:16 AM
December 15, 06
Hi Sweetheart,
I have a friend who has a fibroid, a large one.
I was not tuned into these and how common they are
among women. Thanks for writing about this.
I am inspired by the work of Donna Carey
who works with harmonics and some very advanced
healing methods.
See this article here, and do some other internet research
perhaps, if you are interested.
http://www.acutonics.com/pdf/Sedna0406.pdf
I googled fibroids and Carey to find this.
I have often thought that witheld emotions can
cause breast cancer in women. I am starting to wonder
about fibroids and their emotional basis.
This also ties in with TV and the vibes as well
as messages that they are giving you.
Underneath, there seems to be some unresolved trauma
around that horrific intro to sexuality that game
from the "Alien Invader" who really took something
very precious from you--a healthy experience and memory.
Sometimes, these traumas can get stuck in the body and
the stagnant energy--I wonder how it can show up--fibroids--
and how it can be moved...such things as Donna Carey's work.
I wrote one blog on menstruation, paramenapause that came
from here web site. She has a facinating website.
Here is my blog on this:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=2024
I am wondering:
Where is the Soul behind this for you?
How can the original trauma be turned into a
contribution to yourself and others?
I imagine that there is a great healing art waiting for you
to explore, and of course, one of the really great gifts
will be when you become a mother (My thought...).
Sending you good thoughts that Knowing All Will be Well.
Leslie
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YourEnchantedGardener
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- Re: Inspirations! by ren
18 y
1,013
| Leslie thank you for your wonderful note. I am truly blessed to know you. I had a good day today because of you.
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ren
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- Re: Thanks Ren! by YourEnchantedGardener
18 y
1,050
9:23 PM
December 15, 06
Glad to hear that what I wrote helped.
I am cleaning off my bed, and want to keep
some potentially scary feelings in perspective.
I want to have a good day
tomorrow. I have a conference
on Monday.
It helps knowing that this is
the first day of Chanukah--and
that there is more and more light
coming in.
your friend,
Leslie
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YourEnchantedGardener
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CureZone