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My innocence 17 y
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DRZy8rtI0jo
”My Innocence”
I was born a fighter
I was born on a rainy day
I’ve had my share of pain
But you’ve missed most of that
So many other things you had to do
You looked after you
Do you remember what u did
Do you know just what you’ve missed?
Do you care about what I have to say?
You took my innocence away and never had a chance to
You broke me in with your mistakes and thanks for the break through
But you won’t bring me down
I always come around
You took my innoncence away but the best of me stayed
It could be your blood running through all my vains
That ties me to your ... read more Emotional Issue 7 17 y
Life isn't like a book. Life isn't logical or sensible or orderly. Life is a mess most of the time. And theology must be lived in the midst of that mess.”
Charles Caleb Colton quotes (English sportsman and writer, 1780-1832)
When I watch Lindsay Lohan’s life unfold, I cannot feel but almost as messed up as her.I admire the child star in ”Parent Trap” and ”Mean Girls”, but her departure from an actress with great potential in her late teens has not endeared her to me at all. In spite of that I have been following her increasingly addictive news of her off-screen-dominated life. First, she has a messed up family, a lime-light stealing irresponsible mother, a father in jail and both geting a divorced. Second, she has severe esteem problems that explain her bilimia, suicide attempts and her multiple casual relati ... read more June Fast Day 1 17 y
People ask me when I start one of these projects, what is your theme? I haven’t the faintest idea. That’s why you’re writing the book, it seems to me, to find out. To me, it’s a journey. It’s an adventure. It’s traveling in a country you’ve never been in and everything is going to be new, and because of that, vivid. And don’t make up your mind too soon. Let it be an experience.”
David McCullough
Symptoms:
skin:
face dry
neck dry
shoulder dry
chest smooth
abdomen dry
upper arm scattered bruises
elbow dry
lower arm ok
right wrist ok
hand smooth and very BEAUTIFUL
inner thigh a little dry
back thigh smooth
knee cap mildly dry, inflamation areas
back of knee dry, mildly inflammed
lower leg dry scattered bruises (I can see improvement)
feet ventrum inflammed
ankles dry
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM:once
others:sweat triggers itch, callus if any peel off easily
overall:generally fatigued
sleep: 7 hrs
Exercise
1.went to clinics
2.taugh ... read more what's important 17 y
commit 110% to each decision
what I want to be: I am a free woman. (Ben Ozgur bir Kadinim)
How I want tolive my life: La Bella Vita
Living with VERVE,
where what counts is the number of moments that take my breath away
rather than the number of breaths I take;
Living with PANACHE,
where I can say ”I’m glad I did” rather than ”I wished I did”;
Living with WHOLESOMENESS,
where I understand the synergistic coupling of working hard and playing hard;
Living with CHILDLIKE WONDER,
where at every turn, life puts a ”wow” on my lips;
Living with FAITH,
where by believing, the magic begins.
What I want at the ... read more moving out 17 y
a lone survivor admist a desolated war site
Moving out on my own FINALLY
30th May 2007 will be a day I will not forget for as long as I shall live. On this day, I will move out on my own--finally.
The relentless drama in the house (where I stayed in with my parents) has been taking its toll on me. When my parents caused sufficient trauma over the course of the week, with daily police assistance and worry-plagued thoughts, it was my last straw. I could not tolerate another one month before I moved out to my rented room; it was time to move out right now.
25th May 2007
I left the house in the morning with a bag of books. My ... read more End of May Fast 17 y
You got to do it yourself. There is no elevator to success, you got to take the stairs.
--Caridee English, ANTM
I am going to stop right here, take a week’s break and do a final june fast. I am done with holding on, partly because there are a lot of inner issues that keep resurging and it throws me into doldrums continually. Stop. Enough. I need a little rest. . . . .
Condition right now:
Better generally, but still require another prolonged fast.
No more urge to binge, though thoughts of poor eating habits surface during stress .
Problems faced during the fast
Distracting thoughts of not feeling
Not sleeping
Not completely opening myself to the powers of healing with more nega ... read more
Fasting Information 17 y
Taken from Prescription for Nutritional Healing James F. Balch, M.D. & Phyllis A. Balch, C.N.C. -
Fasting is an effective and safe method of detoxifying the body. The body needs a periodic rest from the chemicals and toxins that are in the environment. Fasting should always be monitored by a health professional.
Fasting is not starvation! It is a technique that wise men have used for centuries to heal the sick. To understand the principles of fasting is to understand one’s own body.
Fasting is recommended for almost any illness because our bodies need rest. The body goes through high and low cycles, as does everything in the universe, including the sun, the moon, the stars, and ... read more Day 21 officially 17 y
See the things you want as already yours. Think of them as yours, as belonging to you, as already in your possession.”
Robert Collier quotes (American motivational author, 1885-1950)
Symptoms:
skin:
face ok
neck ok
shoulder ok
chest smooth
abdomen a little dry
upper arm smooth, dull
elbow mildly almost healed
lower arm ok
right wrist ok
hand smooth
inner thigh a little dry
back thigh smooth
knee cap mildly dry, inflamation areas *****focus*****
back of knee dry, mildly inflammed *****FOCUS*****
lower leg skin renewing (YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK)*****focus*****
feet ventrum dry and healing
ankled healed
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM:
others:
overall:sweat still trigers itch
sleep: 6 hrs
Exercise
1.went to clinics
2. taught ... read more A lil support goes a long way 17 y
I will because I can.
me: Do you support me in trying to fix my life and health? I have never been through a harder process than this. I wish you could be here for me. Just let me know. It helps a lot.
my bf: Yes I support you with all my heart.
I am glad I am making the wise decision to correct my health.
I am happy I am detaching myself from slimming drugs.
I am excited I will not have to depend on steroids to suppress my eczema anymore.
I am fascinated by the idea of venturing into ovo-lacto vegetarianism.
I am glad I have the courage to take this fast.
I am happy I am given a chance to examine m ... read more An honest entry 17 y
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bristol/content/articles/2004/09/24/drugdiary1_feature.shtml
honest rehab diary by a drug addict--it's not easy but we will get there.
I think fasting can really suck. I often want to quit but I don’t write it down because information of my busy-ness is a better distraction to read.
But I am at the point in my life where I know I just don’t want to go back to how crappy it used to be, when I felt as if I could not breathe. I just don’t want to dump myself with my drugs and binge/purge cycles. I don’t want to walk down the road of a screw-up.
What I want is a life. I want to be able to breathe. I just want to be normal. I want good skin.
So hell yeah fasting does suck at times. Because I want to actually eat, b ... read more Day 17& 18 &19 17 y
Life is Cool lyrics
Symptoms:
skin:
face ok
neck a little dry
shoulder ok
chest smooth
abdomen a little dry
upper arm smooth
elbow mildly dry *****focus*****
lower arm ok
right wrist skin healed
hand smooth
inner thigh a little dry
back thigh smooth
knee cap mildly dry, inflamation areas *****focus*****
back of knee dry, mildly inflammed *****FOCUS*****
lower leg skin renewing (YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK)*****focus*****
feet ventrum dry and still healing
ankled healed, dry
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM:
others:felt the stinging sensation of nerves in my left hand, sneezed ... read more FASTING COMPUTER SCIENTIST, Ph.D., FINDS 80-DAY PROGRAM DIFFICULT, YET MULTIPLY HEALING! 17 y
At least another faster finds fasting difficult too
I just finished my 80-day fast. At my age, I had a great deal of de-toxing to do, even though I had tried to live a healthy life! The fast has literally changed my values: for instance, I now have a much greater appreciation of grains, vegetables, seeds and nuts than I ever had before. I plan on fasting once or twice a year, for the rest of my life. Because the fast was so long, I found it very difficult, and when I read the paeans of joy expressed by your other clients, I would ask myself why my experience was so different.
”So, this letter is for the people who are afraid of long fa ... read more Types of water 17 y
Distilled water during part of fasting
but mineral water the other part of fasting
Early Death Comes From Drinking Distilled Water
During nearly 19 years of clinical practice I have had the opportunity to observe the health effects of drinking different types of water. Most of you would agree that drinking unfiltered tap water could be hazardous to your health because of things like
* parasites
* chlorine
* fluoride
* dioxins
Many health fanatics, however, are often surprised to hear me say that drinking distilled water on a regular, daily basis is potentially dangerous.
Paavo Airola wrote about the dangers of distilled water in the 1970’s when it first ... read more Day 16 officially 17 y
“Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone and more fragile than a rose.”
Turkish Proverb
Symptoms:
skin:
face ok
neck a little dry
shoulder ok
chest smooth
abdomen a little dry
upper arm smooth
elbow mildly dry *****focus*****
lower arm ok
right wrist skin healed
hand smooth
inner thigh a little dry
back thigh smooth
knee cap mildly dry, inflamation areas *****focus*****
back of knee dry, mildly inflammed *****FOCUS*****
lower leg skin renewing (hate this)*****focus*****
feet ventrum dry, healing (difficult)
ankled healed, dry
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM:
others:felt the stinging sensation of nerves in my left hand, sneezed out mu ... read more Response to emotional issue 6 17 y
“The perfect no-stress environment is the grave. When we change our perception we gain control. The stress becomes a challenge, not a threat. When we commit to action, to actually doing something rather than feeling trapped by events, the stress in our life becomes manageable.”
Greg Anderson quotes (American best-selling Author and founder of the American Wellness Project., b.1964)
I realize I cannot heal myself alone. I have to get some form of inspirational therapy to help me heal my inner wounds. This will help me to tackle all the emotions that are outpouring during the fast.
I have met with my doctor/therapist since I was hospitalized. He told me I exhibit signs of a borderline narcissistic personality disorder. I believe he may be right as I have received a similar feedback from two personality disorder quizzes, one I took recently and one many years ago. However, due to cost reasons, I am contemplating to drop out from the session (I just had one) but would ... read more Appreciation of the inner life of a cell 17 y
for those medically interested
The inner life of a cell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxSLw1LMvgk&mode=related&search=
Full version with explanation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjexZ88wIno&mode=related&search=
visit the page Emotional Issue 6: It is very hard to fight for my freedom. 17 y
I am not as strong as I appear to be.
I have to confront my emotional wounds. For the past few days, I have deeply upset about how screwed up my life is. At clinics, my friend told me I seemed ”to be in a daze” or ”I looked lost”.
Nobody will ever know how heart-wrenching it is for me to fight for my freedom. There are the fresh memories of my intense parental physical abuse over the past year and then there is the constant reminder of the feeling of entrapment by my parent’s expectations of me from young. Things have reached a point where I am forced to decide to move out so that I can protect what I believe in and allow ... read more Day 15 officially 17 y
If you haven't the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers you.
T.S. Eliot quotes
Symptoms:
skin:
face a little dry
neck a little dry
shoulder a little dry
chest smooth
abdomen a little dry
upper arm smooth
elbow mildly dry, inflammation *****focus*****
lower arm ok
right wrist skin is 90% healed
hand smooth
inner thigh a little dry
back thigh smooth
knee cap dry, inflamation areas showing clearly *****focus*****
back of knee dry, mildly inflammed *****FOCUS*****
lower leg skin renewing (hate this)*****focus*****
feet ventrum dry, healing
ankled healed, dry
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM:once, great feeling
others:
overall:
... read more Medical Yr 1 finals results are OUT 17 y
yay
I passed. haha. Got a B though, missed the damn A. But hey, I passed. Yay! Time to enjoy. visit the page day 14 officially 17 y
“We have come into this exquisite world to experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom and light!”
Hafiz of Persia
Symptoms:
skin:
face a little dry
neck a little dry
shoulder a little dry
chest smooth
abdomen a little dry
upper arm smooth
elbow mildly dry, inflammation
lower arm ok
right wrist skin is 90% healed (it is gorgeous)
hand smooth
inner thigh a little dry
back thigh smooth
knee cap dry, inflamation areas showing clearly ( hate this)
back of knee dry, mildly inflammed
lower leg skin renewing (hate this)
feet ventrum dry, healing
ankled healed
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM:
others:
overall:
sleep: 5 hrs (VERY BAD )
Exercise
1.walk all over (b ... read more day 13 officially 17 y
--
Symptoms:
skin:
face ok
neck ok
shoulder ok
chest ok
abdomen ok
upper arm ok
elbow mildly dry, inflammation
lower arm ok
hand smooth
inner thigh ok
back thigh smooth
knee cap dry, inflamation areas showing clearly ( hate this)
back of knee dry, mildly inflammed
lower leg skin renewing, looks better
feet ventrum dry, healing
ankled healed
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM:
others:
overall:
sleep: 6 hrs (VERY BAD haha)
Exercise
1.walk all over, visited aunt n uncle
Medication
0 GNC Ultimate Cleanse
0 Multivitamin
0 Evening Primrose Oil cap ... read more day 12 officially 17 y
Love is the most powerful energy available to us, focusing on what we love puts us squarely back into our power.
Symptoms:
skin:
face ok
neck ok
shoulder ok
chest ok
abdomen ok
upper arm ok
elbow mildly dry, less inflammation
lower arm ok
hand smooth
inner thigh ok
back thigh smooth
knee cap dry, inflamation areas showing clearly, looks improved
back of knee dry, mildly inflammed
lower leg skin renewweing (still!!!!!!!!!)
feet ventrum dry, scratched it again (OH DEAR!!!!)
ankled healed
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM:
others:
overall:
sleep: 4 hrs (VERY BAD haha)
Exercise
1. morning jog w stepups
Medication
0 GNC Ultimate Cleanse
0 Multivitamin
0 ... read more Rejuvenescence Through Fasting
17 y
http://www.soilandhealth.org/02/0201hyglibcat/020127shelton.III/020127.ch15.htm
CHAPTER XV
Upton Sinclair says: ”The great thing about the fast is that it sets you a new standard of health.” Old and young alike are renewed and have their whole organism repaired and their functions improved. Fasting supplies opportunities to the body to eliminate accumulated excess weight.
Regeneration of the body is a ceaseless process. The daily renewal of its cells and tissues prevents old age and early death for considerable time, despite the worst abuses which are heaped upon the bodies of most of us. Fasting enables the processes of renewal to out-distance the processes o ... read more Day 11 officially 17 y
“Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.”
Symptoms:
skin:
face dry
neck dry
shoulder mildly dry
chest smooth
abdomen smooth
upper arm smooth
elbow mildly dry, signs of inflammation
lower arm mildly dry
hand smooth
inner thigh mildly dry, slightly infammed
back thigh smooth
knee cap dry, infllamation showing
back of knee dry, mild inflammed
lower leg skin renewal (I totally hate this part)
feet ventrum dry, scratched it again
ankled healed
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM: once (getting poorer)
others:
overall:not feeling well, exhuasted, not a good day
sleep: 5 hrs
Exercise
Medic ... read more Day 10 officially 17 y
And whatever people might say about the time having come when young people must arrange their future for themselves, she could not believe it any more than she could believe that loaded pistols could ever be the best toys for five-year-old children.”
Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy quotes (Russian moral Thinker, Novelist and Philosopher, notable for his influence on Russian literature and politics. 1828-1910)
Symptoms:
skin:
face smooth
neck smooth
shoulder mildly dry
chest smooth
abdomen smooth
upper arm smooth
elbow mildly dry
lower arm mildly dry
hand smooth
inner thigh mildly dry, slightly infammed
back thigh smooth
knee cap dry
back of knee dry, mild inflammed
lower leg skin renewal (I totally hate this part)
feet ventrum dry, almost healed
ankled healed
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM: twice (with laxative), feel better
others:
overall:
Exercise
1. walked all over the place-- went for clinics, then hospital for a medical follow-up and back hom ... read more day 9 officially 17 y
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Howard Thurman (American Theologian, Clergyman and Activist. 1900-1981)
Symptoms:
skin:
face mildly dry
neck mildly dry
shoulder mildly dry
chest smooth
abdomen mildly dry
upper arm smooth
elbow mildly dry
lower arm mildly dry
hand smooth
inner thigh mildly dry
back thigh smooth
knee cap dry
back of knee dry, mild inflammed
lower leg skin renewal
feet ventrum dry, almost healed
ankled healed
tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM: still none
others:
overall feeling:happy that this is my first day out and this will set to continue from now on
Exercise
1. walked all over the place-- went for clinics, then hospital for a med ... read more |