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Day 6 - SWF I am going to do it....
Day 6 - SWF and ramblings
Date: 2/18/2006 4:49:22 AM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 3122 times Ok, I confess. I have not been doing the SWF's, I know I said I was going to try it, but I did not. Ok, this is my fear, I am not home very much and I am afraid I am not going to make it to the toilet b/c 'the moment' will happen when I am on the road. Plus, if I go to 'perform' in a place other than my house, I feel that my performance my scare other people ;). I know stupid fear...
Not going to weigh myself today, I am still angry about ytdy. Had 1 small bm ytdy, hoped for a big one with the lax tea I have taken, but oh well. I know, I know, I have to do the SWF. I was close to an enema, but was lazy. I know, I know, gotta stick with the protocol. I have no one to blame but myself.
Felt like going off MC ytdy. Wanted to eat. My son has been off from school this week and I have been entertaining him by meeting with some of his friends and their moms. So we hit some activity and then lunch. I have to then go through the whole tap dance of what I am doing and you know how that is when people do not understand what you are doing...It has happened before when I was exclusively raw (especially when I went to weddings and brought my own food). But the killer was when my Mr. Big Brown Eyes (my son) asked me why I did not eat and that I should eat because 'I might get sick', I almost did! (I would have ordered fruit or a salad.) It is the same song and dance I give him when he does not eat.
Isn't it funny? How are children are mirrors of ourselves and our actions? So many times does my son use 'me' on me. But the eating thing, Mr. BBE (son) has had eating issues since he was a baby. He would only nurse exclusively until he was about a year and now will only eat about 7 specific things on a list and they are BRAND specific! I would worry and worry and my Doctor, his teacher would sit me down and talk to me and to try and get him to eat something different. Trust me, we ALWAYS tried! Anyway, I saw a natural healer and he basically said that our bodies will tell us to eat when we need to. What is my point? I do have one somewhere...I agree with those who have alluded to the fact that this whole overweight, obesity thing is something that we ourselves have created. Too much tv, too much greed and want for profit, too much adverts, too much everything is food. It seems 99% of social gatherings are food based. So we have to rise above it all and listen to our bodies and eat when our bodies tell us when our body is hungry, not through cravings. i.e. do not force anyone to eat. I know I do not want my son to have obesity problems when he gets older or body image problems. I will say for his age and height, I wish he would weigh more than 39.5 lbs...sounds like I am going back...just chill.(note: I have had about a 20 year battle with cycles of bulemia...so eating is a hyper subject for me. Obviously, since I have to lose about 20 lbs, but the good way!)
Ok, so my point is at lunch ytdy, I really craved and huge salad with avocados and chopped broccoli and add a tomato with that and sign me up! But I downed about 20 ozs. of the lemonade and I was good with that!
Sorry for rambling on, but this blog is my therapy...;)
Ok, I am really off to make my SWF. But I will have to stop at the forums b/c I do have a couple of questions...
Love and Blessings=
V. Danzer
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